Ryan & I have discussed Averley being our last child - if we want more down the road we will adopt or do foster care. That being said, it is so difficult thinking about not having another baby...not being pregnant ever again...not feeling my baby move & grow in my womb...not feeling so close to our Creator the first time I hold my baby. It may be odd to think of feeling so close to God while giving birth, but I did both times. The pain is obviously there, especially with a non-medicated child birth, but something about giving birth is so Heavenly. Knowing that this...THIS...is of God - nothing comes close to that feeling. Some may disagree, but for me, pushing my children out of my womb & bringing them into this world so I can love them, teach them & watch them grow is one of my favorite times in my life.
This moment is worth every sleepless night, uncomfortable feeling, contraction, hemorrhoid, pain - everything! The moment you feel skin to skin after 9 months of your baby growing inside you, the moment of seeing the child you helped create, the moment of pure bliss is so precious. It is hard to describe unless you have been there - hopefully what I have said above can give you some kind of an idea.
Now that Averley is 4 1/2 months old - and almost sitting up on her own, (Crazy!!) its getting more real to me that she is my last baby - it's bittersweet.
We shall see what the future holds for the Worl family - for now we are complete & will go & do whatever God has planned for us. If that means another child for us - no matter how - then so be it. I love my children & feel so blessed to have been able to carry them for 9 months while they prepared to enter this crazy world. I pray I can be the best mother to my children, the best teacher, spiritual guide, comforter, healer & anything else I need to be to make my children happy!