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June 30, 2011

Why Trash the Dress??

Recently I was able to be a part of what is called "Trash the Dress" - its where you get in your wedding gown & do the unthinkable....trash it!  The photographer from our wedding had asked for brides to do it & I was all for it.  Why you may ask? (Which, a lot of you have with very concerned & disapproving looks on your faces!)  A few reasons....

The first reason I will get to in a bit as it is why I am actually writing this blog.  The second reason - What else am I going to do with this dress?  It's not like I have this desire for my daughter to hopefully wear my dress on her wedding day - not to mention it will probably be out of style by then anyway (even though I feel my dress is super awesome). The third reason - WHY NOT?!?!?!

Channeling my inner "Bo Derek"
Okay - to get to the first reason I wanted to "Trash the Dress".  I need to preface this with I am sorry if I hurt anyone for saying some of the things I am going to say.  I will keep everything & everyone anonymous in order to protect you because I love you.  I have forgiven you & this is not to "bring it up again" but to help me work through emotions that I have felt since then.  Okay - hope you understand and here we go.

I chose to trash my dress mainly because I needed to.  I needed to do something to signify letting go of some of the things that went on before, during and after my wedding day.  My wedding was beautiful, don't get me wrong, but what I found out after the fact kind of tarnished my memories.  Thank God I did not know these things before or during my wedding because the day probably wouldn't have happened or certain people who are important to both Ryan & me would not have been allowed to be there.  We all know how important it is to have those we are close to & love to be there on such a significant day as a wedding so that would have been so difficult if that was the case.

Looking back on that day and those leading up to it, I see all of the signs that I should have noticed.  These people, whom I love dearly, hid certain things from a lot of us.  Maybe more people knew what was going on & I was just too ignorant to see it, I don't know.  I just wish things were different.  My wedding day - it was amazing, I had a wonderful time, things didn't go perfectly - which is okay, I'm married which is all that really matters....but learning things after the fact have made certain aspects of my wedding day tarnished.  Special parts of it that are supposed to be the best moments of your wedding....tarnished.  

Trashing my dress was a release.....a release of all these feelings I've been keeping bottled inside me since I learned of these things.  It was therapeutic even.  I am hoping I can move on from these tarnished memories & have a "re-wedding day" on our 5 year anniversary.  Just a little renewing of our vows, something little.  I feel I deserve it - yes, I said that...I deserve it.  Some may think I'm crazy when I say that because, truly, my wedding day was gorgeous - but I think those who are involved and know what I am talking about may understand what I mean when I say that.

I think all brides should "Trash the Dress" - even if you don't have a reason to like I did....because it was so much fun despite almost drowning a couple times and being completely sore from trying to channel my inner Bo Derek. :)


  There you have it.....the reason I "Trashed the Dress".

I do need to add - I am in love with these pictures.  I do not say that to "toot my own horn" because I honestly never in a million years felt like I could look the way I do in these pictures.  Especially after having 2 kids and seeing my body morph into a giant blob with skin that looks like a road map from all the stretch marks.  I've had my fair share of days in which I have felt nobody could/did find me pretty.  If I ever feel the slightest bit ugly or unattractive all I have to do is look at these pictures and I will feel like a supermodel again.  I can't thank our photographer enough, Joshua McCoy, for allowing me to be a part of this.  It was amazing in so many ways.  I may have been sore for 5 days after because apparently swimming in your wedding dress is extremely tiring for your muscles, but it was SO worth it.
This is by far my favorite picture


  1. First...if I haven't said it before...or often enough...or believably enough...YOU ARE AMAZINGLY BEAUTIFUL! These pictures don't even do you justice!!!

    Second...I'm not sure what went on or why...or even who has hurt you and tarnished your beautiful memories...but I think I can take them! Just give the word!

  2. Heather, I barley know you. I know you more though facebook and love ready about all the fun things you do in life. Your children are amazingly adorable and I just wanted to say, this blog touched my heart. I've been through A LOT since my wedding day and so many things you wrote are relevant in my life too. I teared up and for that, thank you - for the blog and for the amazing pictures. Such a great idea to wash away the past and to start over. I myself will find a way to put it in the past. Again, thank you!

  3. What a good way to release some of that tarnishment. =) I love the pictures also. They are BEAUTIFUL and such a good idea!!! You are very beautiful Heather!! I know what you are talking about, Im your sister, ofcourse I know. You absolutley deserve a re-newal. I hope you know that I did my best to make your day as special as I could with all of the background mess going on at the same time. Trust me, it was hard and Im sure I didnt know a lot that was going on main focus was you for pretty much an entire year. I love you so much Heather and I still feel honored to be your Maid of Honor. Hey you may want to check your last paragraph, you said "you can't thank Joshua". love ya

  4. Thanks everyone - I'm glad I was able to touch some of you with this blog.

    Kristin - I love you! You are an awesome sister & was an amazing Maid of Honor. I can't even imagine how hard it was to make sure my day was perfect (to me) despite what was going on in the background. I think we both need a re-wedding day! hahaha Starting our day with massages :)