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June 13, 2011

Bad Mommy Award Goes to Me!

I'm just going to start out saying it - Averley fell off our bed. :(  It was all my fault too.

Lately, when Averley wakes up at 5 or 6am, I bring her into our room & nurse her so I can still get a little bit more rest until she is really up for the day.  She usually falls asleep while nursing & I don't get up again until she wakes up (or Declan wakes up, whichever is first).  This morning, however, I had to wake up at 6:30 to get ready for *GASP* work.  Ryan gently wakes me up so not to disturb Averley sleeping in my arms.  I free my legs from under the sheets as quietly as I can & then I'm left with Averley's head laying on my right arm. am I going to maneuver this one without waking her up?  Ryan comes over & lightly lifts her head as I pull my arm out from under her.  She rustles a little bit but once Ryan put her head back down on the soft bed she was right back asleep, laying on her left side with her left arm under her head and her right arm flung back behind her (looked totally uncomfortable but it worked for her).

As I got up out of bed, I told Ryan I was afraid of her falling out of bed while I was in the shower.  He said he would stay there with her until I got out & he had to leave for work.  She stayed asleep the entire time I showered & got dressed.

Then I had to go out of the bedroom because the babysitter had arrived & Declan had woke up.  I kept checking in on her here & there making sure she was still sound asleep - each time she still hadn't moved.

It was now 7:30am, I was in the kitchen pouring Declan some milk when I heard it....the loud THUD that every mom hates to hear but knows what it is.  The THUD of your child falling out of bed. :(

I'm pretty sure I said a curse word & ran into the bedroom as Averley catched her breath so she could scream as loud as she knows how.  She's on all fours, face down to the ground, head hanging low, sad as can be.  I picked her up and held her as she screamed in fear of not knowing what the heck just happened.  All she did was roll over a couple times to see where she was as she slowly woke up from her deep sleep.  She sure did get a "wake up call" when she rolled right out of bed and hit the floor.  Awful....I feel awful...I'm a horrible mom.

I walked around with her for a little bit, walked into the living room where the babysitter was with Declan.  Averley reached out to her - "Get me away from this lady, she let me fall out of bed!"  She wasn't calming down so I took her back into the room & did what I knew would calm her down - nursed her.  She was still trying to catch her breath as she latched on - she just sat there, tears still on her face and welling up in her eyes, staring at me, still not knowing what the heck just happened - but she knew now that she was safe, secure, in her mommy's arms, cuddled up next to her favorite place :)

She sat there for a few just looking at me, trying to pick at my moles/freckles (apparently they are just so fascinating), then sat up & smiled.  All better!

She may have been all better - but I am still a bit traumatized.  I still feel terrible that I left her on my bed - I knew better.  I just didn't want to wake her.  Never again will I let this happen.

There you have it - after all that and I still had to leave for work...seriously?  Oh - and Aunt Flo arrived, the day just can't get any worse right?  UGH!!!!


  1. You are not the worst mom! I know how you feel, its happened to the best of us and its ok! She is ok. Don't beat yourself up. You are a very good mom and I love you!! xoxo

  2. Oh yeah? Well, Christmas Eve 2009-- when the girls were only 17 days old-- I forgot to buckle Rayleigh into the swing at my mom & dad's house... and even when I realized it wasn't buckled I just left it b/c I figured she was too little to wiggle out of it anyway (and I was just too tired to go back into their bedroom and do anything about it). So of course she woke us up in the middle of the night screaming, and I ran into the room to find her on her belly UNDER the swing. She was ok, too, but it didn't stop me from sobbing long after she was done crying.
    We've all been there. I guess it helps to know we're not alone and kids are resilient. Live & learn? :) ((HUGS))

  3. Ezra has fallen of the bed twice and a chair once...don't feel bad!